When I was about eight everyone began to call me a monkey. I loved to climb. It began with trees and escalated to telephone posts. However, I soon discovered – in my innocence – that it felt good to climb. I mean really good.

I didn’t know why, all I knew was when I climb it felt good.

Soon I discovered that it wasn’t the “climb” as much as the motion that was giving me great pleasure. So I began to attempt to reinvent the conditions of that sensation somewhere more convenient: The post on my bunk bed.

Soon that wasn’t enough (as I got bigger) and so I had to find another outlet: the bedroom door. By this time I began to make the connection (perhaps by instinct) that my pleasure was directly related to sex. It was my penis that was feeling really good (and getting messy) and since I did not know how babies “happened”, only that when men and women have sex, babies are the result, I began to have nightmares of impregnating my bedroom door.

It might sound crazy, but I was only a kid.

In the next post I want to share how I escalated from “door” to “masterbation” and my first experience with actual porn.

Stay tuned, and in the mean time, check out this monkey who is getting more action at one time then I ever did.